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    Topic review (newest first):

    11/11/2010 12:50 pm

    Although only in critical condition and with a likely chance of surviving, he's a nominee:

    http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_b05014ee-eda5-11df-9852-00127992bc8b.html

    "Once inside the home, the suspect pulled out a gun to rob the others, police said. When he put the gun down, the 19-year-old man was able to get the gun and shoot the would-be robber."

    Word of advice--in the future, when commiting a robbery, you might not want to relinquish possession of the most essential tool of the operation.

    10/19/2010 11:43 am

    don.rob11 wrote:

    Did the Energizer Bunny let him down ?

    He was chasing a road runner and using one of those mail order Acme flashlights. Cheap piece of shite ...

    10/19/2010 10:22 am

    Did the Energizer Bunny let him down ?

    10/19/2010 9:37 am

    Here's a nominee.  A small piece of advice for you prospective burglars--make sure you map out an escape route.  The second part of that tip is in mapping out your escape route, make sure it doesn't involve a 60 foot cliff and a dark wooded area.

    http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/article_455d7c78-db8d-11df-aa57-0017a4a78c22.html

    10/06/2010 4:52 pm

    One thing for sure.  Larry Doby would never have gotten his hair singed.

    10/06/2010 4:23 pm

    artie_fufkin wrote:

    "I got $50, if, after your wife tells that story to your MIL, you quickly drop a "you know, I think [name redacted] is Jewish."

    Provocateur. Unfortunately, MIL already knows [name redacted] is of Asian heritage. At the museum's "Family Winter Festival" (don't call it a Christmas Party) a few years ago, the catering was a selection of international foods at stations - Mexican in one corner of the room, Italian in another, Chinese at another, etc. She interrupted the conversation he was having with another employee and told him to bring out more egg rolls.

    I'll chip in an extra $20. Buy him a Star of David and tell her he's a convert.  (grin)

    10/06/2010 3:57 pm

    artie_fufkin wrote:

    "I got $50, if, after your wife tells that story to your MIL, you quickly drop a "you know, I think [name redacted] is Jewish."

    [name redacted] is of Asian heritage.

    No comment.

    10/06/2010 1:52 pm

    "I got $50, if, after your wife tells that story to your MIL, you quickly drop a "you know, I think [name redacted] is Jewish."

    Provocateur. Unfortunately, MIL already knows [name redacted] is of Asian heritage. At the museum's "Family Winter Festival" (don't call it a Christmas Party) a few years ago, the catering was a selection of international foods at stations - Mexican in one corner of the room, Italian in another, Chinese at another, etc. She interrupted the conversation he was having with another employee and told him to bring out more egg rolls.

    10/06/2010 1:24 pm

    artie_fufkin wrote:

    Mags wrote:

    artie_fufkin wrote:

    Technically, this guy doesn't qualify for a D.A. because he didn't fulfill the offing himself requirement,

    Maybe.  Maybe not.  I think the spirit of the requirement is simply that one must remove himself from the gene pool of future generations.  Have you got any information on how close the flames got to his home-grown fire extinguisher?

    Good point. I just asked that question and was summarily dismissed. I suppose I shouldn't have taken such a direct tack and instead eased into my inquiry with something like: "If we're talking about singed hair, is there a particular anatomical location involved?"
    But I think it's going to take my wife a little bit longer to reach the destination I'm at right about now about the comedic component of this event.
    My reaction about 30 seconds into the conversation with her employee last night was: "She's pissed. And not at me. So I'm off the radar for the next 24 hours or so. Good for me."

    I got $50, if, after your wife tells that story to your MIL, you quickly drop a "you know, I think [name redacted] is Jewish."

    10/06/2010 12:07 pm

    Mags wrote:

    artie_fufkin wrote:

    Technically, this guy doesn't qualify for a D.A. because he didn't fulfill the offing himself requirement,

    Maybe.  Maybe not.  I think the spirit of the requirement is simply that one must remove himself from the gene pool of future generations.  Have you got any information on how close the flames got to his home-grown fire extinguisher?

    Good point. I just asked that question and was summarily dismissed. I suppose I shouldn't have taken such a direct tack and instead eased into my inquiry with something like: "If we're talking about singed hair, is there a particular anatomical location involved?"
    But I think it's going to take my wife a little bit longer to reach the destination I'm at right about now about the comedic component of this event.
    My reaction about 30 seconds into the conversation with her employee last night was: "She's pissed. And not at me. So I'm off the radar for the next 24 hours or so. Good for me."

    10/06/2010 11:53 am

    artie_fufkin wrote:

    Technically, this guy doesn't qualify for a D.A. because he didn't fulfill the offing himself requirement,

    Maybe.  Maybe not.  I think the spirit of the requirement is simply that one must remove himself from the gene pool of future generations.  Have you got any information on how close the flames got to his home-grown fire extinguisher?

    10/06/2010 9:31 am

    Smooth .....................   

    10/06/2010 9:12 am

    Technically, this guy doesn't qualify for a D.A. because he didn't fulfill the offing himself requirement, but the actions of one of my wife's miscreants at work prompted this telephone call at about 11 p.m. last night.
    (For the purposes of disclosure, my wife is the manager of the events and conference services department at a museum.)

    Event coordinator: "Ummm, sorry to bother you this late. We've got a little bit of a problem down here."
    My wife: "What's up?"
    Coordinator: "Well ... there was a fire ..."
    My wife: "WHAT?!?"
    Coordinator: "Yeah. Well kind of. It's was really kind of an accident ... sort of."
    My wife: "A FIRE?"
    Coordinator: "The good news is no one got hurt. The arson investigator ..."
    My wife: "ARSON?!? Excuse me, did you say 'Arson?'"
    Coordinator: "Oh, it wasn't arson. [Name redacted] put charcoal in the dumpster."
    My wife: "Charcoal in the dumpster?"
    Coordinator: "Yeah ..."
    My wife (facial muscles tightening): "Charcoal ... in ... the .. dumpster ..."
    Coordinator: "Yeah ..."
    My wife: "And I assume the charcoal was smoldering at the time?"
    Coordinator: "Probly ... yeah ... I guess it would have had to have been ... Well, no one really told him not to put charcoal in the dumpster, so he really didn't know ..."
    My wife: "Is [name redacted] there?"
    Coordinator: "Yeah ... No ... not really. He's in the ambulance."
    My wife: "Ambulance? I thought you said no one was hurt."
    Coordinator: "Well, he tried to put out the fire and I guess his hair got singed. Some of his hair. Not all of it."
    My wife: "How did he try to put out the fire?"
    Coordinator: "Uhh ... umm ... with urine. Like they do at camp."
    My wife: "His urine? Or someone else's? Do we have a drum of urine laying around the parking garage in the event someone puts smoldering charcoal in the dumpster?"
    Cooridnator: "Oh no. It was his urine."
    My wife: "So let me see if I've got a clear picture of this. [Name redacted] throws burning charcoal into a dumpster, starting a fire. And [name redacted] tries to put out the fire with a piss fountain in full view of people in the parking garage ..."
    Coordinator: "It wasn't like that. No one really saw him. He climbed into the dumpster before he started pissing ..."

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