I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Hansel! Gretel! Don't each the schnitzel. They're using Schnauzer.
What in the wide wide world of sports is going on here?!? Everybody dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City Faggots?!
Now, I owe it to myself to tell you that if you're taking the whole tribe cross-country, the Wagon Queen Family Truckster ... You think you hate it now, wait 'til you drive it.
Spalding, get your foot off the boat!
My name is Inigo Montoya, prepare to die.
(OK, that was a repeat, but that movie had several memorable lines).
I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
and here's one for Alz:
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
If it bends, it's funny. If it breaks, it isn't funny.
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.
Inconceivable!
We used to use the last line quite frequently, but it looses something without the entire dialoque
Jefferson's little brother: "My brother's gonna kill us. He's gonna to kill us. He's gonna kill you and he's gonna kill me, he's gonna kill us."
Spicoli: "Man, just be glad I had fast reflexes."
Jefferson's little brother: "My brother's gonna shit."
Spicoli: "Well make up your mind dude. Is he gonna shit, or is he gonna kill us?"
Jefferson's little brother: "First he's gonna shit, then he's gonna kill us."
Spicoli "Relax, alright. My old man is a television repairman. He has the ultimate set of tools. I can fix it."
Of course, this isn't complete without Jefferson's revenge.
"Ray [Jay?], whenever anybody asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"
You can't really dust for vomit.
No more yankie my wankie, the Donger needs food!