"Artie, is this anywhere near you?"

Very. Doesn't surprise me at all. When we play an Ipswich team, we know we're going to be able to get all our kids plenty of playing time. We played them up there last year and led, 28-0, at halftime. A few years ago, the Ipswich High football team set the state record for consecutive losses. It was something like 58 in a row.

The funny part is, on my computer, the headline somehow got truncated and read "Principal cancels honors night in exchange for ass."