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12/14/2010 12:27 pm
artie_fufkin wrote:
Turns out what actually happens is that Dumbledore isn't really dead and he gives Hermione some of that stuff that allows her to go back in time. So, she goes way back to when Tom Riddle is still at Hogwarts and goes down on him in an elevator. She time travels again, transporting Riddle's seed in her mouth, has a Lesbian affair with Lily Potter, thereby artificially inseminating Lily with Voldemort's man juice. You guessed it, Harry is actually Voldemort's son. In the climatic struggle between the two, Hermione explains the mix-up, which results in a comical breakdown that leads into a showstopping, full production father and son dance number. They all go off to America and start a traveling burlesque show built around a spoof of Three's Company.
[The Tuindohs just spent a pleasant family night at the movies].I call b.s on this. There's no one in the HP cast who's able replicate Mr. Roper's leering eye roll with the same sort of conviction as Norman Fell.
WARNING: ACTUAL SPOILER BELOW!
Oh, didn't I mention it, "Mad-Eye" Moody isn't really dead, either.
12/14/2010 12:24 pm
Turns out what actually happens is that Dumbledore isn't really dead and he gives Hermione some of that stuff that allows her to go back in time. So, she goes way back to when Tom Riddle is still at Hogwarts and goes down on him in an elevator. She time travels again, transporting Riddle's seed in her mouth, has a Lesbian affair with Lily Potter, thereby artificially inseminating Lily with Voldemort's man juice. You guessed it, Harry is actually Voldemort's son. In the climatic struggle between the two, Hermione explains the mix-up, which results in a comical breakdown that leads into a showstopping, full production father and son dance number. They all go off to America and start a traveling burlesque show built around a spoof of Three's Company.
[The Tuindohs just spent a pleasant family night at the movies].I call b.s on this. There's no one in the HP cast who's able replicate Mr. Roper's leering eye roll with the same sort of conviction as Norman Fell.
I call b.s. also. If there's anyone in that cast going down on Tom Riddle it's Daniel Radcliff, not Hermione.
Good call. The whole Harry-pining-for-Ginny subplot becomes a little less plausible with every movie that Daniel Radcliffe looks more and more like Clay Aiken's boyfriend.
12/14/2010 10:28 am
Turns out what actually happens is that Dumbledore isn't really dead and he gives Hermione some of that stuff that allows her to go back in time. So, she goes way back to when Tom Riddle is still at Hogwarts and goes down on him in an elevator. She time travels again, transporting Riddle's seed in her mouth, has a Lesbian affair with Lily Potter, thereby artificially inseminating Lily with Voldemort's man juice. You guessed it, Harry is actually Voldemort's son. In the climatic struggle between the two, Hermione explains the mix-up, which results in a comical breakdown that leads into a showstopping, full production father and son dance number. They all go off to America and start a traveling burlesque show built around a spoof of Three's Company.
[The Tuindohs just spent a pleasant family night at the movies].I call b.s on this. There's no one in the HP cast who's able replicate Mr. Roper's leering eye roll with the same sort of conviction as Norman Fell.
I call b.s. also. If there's anyone in that cast going down on Tom Riddle it's Daniel Radcliff, not Hermione.
12/14/2010 9:20 am
Turns out what actually happens is that Dumbledore isn't really dead and he gives Hermione some of that stuff that allows her to go back in time. So, she goes way back to when Tom Riddle is still at Hogwarts and goes down on him in an elevator. She time travels again, transporting Riddle's seed in her mouth, has a Lesbian affair with Lily Potter, thereby artificially inseminating Lily with Voldemort's man juice. You guessed it, Harry is actually Voldemort's son. In the climatic struggle between the two, Hermione explains the mix-up, which results in a comical breakdown that leads into a showstopping, full production father and son dance number. They all go off to America and start a traveling burlesque show built around a spoof of Three's Company.
[The Tuindohs just spent a pleasant family night at the movies].
I call b.s on this. There's no one in the HP cast who's able replicate Mr. Roper's leering eye roll with the same sort of conviction as Norman Fell.
12/14/2010 1:54 am
Turns out what actually happens is that Dumbledore isn't really dead and he gives Hermione some of that stuff that allows her to go back in time. So, she goes way back to when Tom Riddle is still at Hogwarts and goes down on him in an elevator. She time travels again, transporting Riddle's seed in her mouth, has a Lesbian affair with Lily Potter, thereby artificially inseminating Lily with Voldemort's man juice. You guessed it, Harry is actually Voldemort's son. In the climatic struggle between the two, Hermione explains the mix-up, which results in a comical breakdown that leads into a showstopping, full production father and son dance number. They all go off to America and start a traveling burlesque show built around a spoof of Three's Company.
[The Tuindohs just spent a pleasant family night at the movies].