1 of 1- artie_fufkin
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Yom Kippur
Saturday is the one day I dread out of the year. For those of you who didn't marry a Jewish woman (or a Jewish man, in Web's instance), the gist of the holiday is you cleanse yourself at the start of the new year by not eating for 24 hours, in this instance from sundown tonight until sundown tomorrow. I can attest that people who haven't eaten for 24 hours can get ornery. By 5 p.m. tomorrow, I'll be hiding in my basement playing solitaire or folding laundry of sanitizing the cat box or something that keeps me out of range.
The Jewish new year technically starts with Rosh Hashana (sp?), which is a week before Yom Kippur. There are so many Jewish families living in our community the school system closes for the two days of Rosh Hashana, which was last Thursday and Friday. Our schools opened the day after Labor Day, which means my son went to school on Tuesday and Wednesday, then had the next four days off.
My beloved mother-in-law picks up my son from school on Wednesdays. When I get home from work, usually my first task is to officiate whatever dispute has broken out during the previous three hours between my son and my MIL. This typically starts when I have one foot in the driveway and one foot in the car.
But, when I come home from work on Wednesday, I'm not immediately accosted. My son is shooting hoops with his buddy next door and my MIL is reading a book on the porch. No one is shouting at each other. No one is shouting at me. No one is bleeding. No one has any broken bones.
Me: "Everything all right?"
MIL: "Yes. He even did his homework."
Me: [Stunned] "Does he realize he doesn't have school until Monday?"
MIL: "Yes. It's Rosh Hashana. That's the Jewish new year."
Me: "I know. I've been married to a Jew for the last 16 years."
My MIL hasn't spoken to me since. Had I known those magic words then ...
- artie_fufkin
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Re: Yom Kippur
tkihshbt wrote:
Excellent! Why do your son and MIL fight?
Because she treats him like he's an idiot. That gets old pretty quickly, even when you're 10.
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Thread Starter- artie_fufkin
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Re: Yom Kippur
When Catholics fast we fry fish, drink beer and skip dessert. I think that is what Jesus did.
Forgive my ignorance, but isn't the Lenten abstinence voluntary? I always hear about people giving up vices like fried foods, chocolate and cotton candy for Lent. Someone who assumed I'm Catholic once asked me what I gave up for Lent. My answer was "organized religion." And I've maintained that for awhile now. So I must have built up some points with the lord by now, right?
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Thread Starter- Max
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Re: Yom Kippur
In Islam they don't fast for a whole 24 hours, only about 18 per day . . . but they do it for a whole fucking month! By the end of which plenty of people are damned ornery!
But the end of it is OK, so long as you duck out when they do they do the religious stuff. People call it Muslim Christmas, but it's really much, much more like Muslim Thanksgiving. You have to go home (as in the home that you--or your parents--grew up in), but other than that there's nothing much that needs to be done except sit around and chow down on the mountains of food that have been prepared. After a few years you figure out which members of the extended family you get along with, and after you've said your polite hellos to everyone, you hang out and eat.
- artie_fufkin
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Re: Yom Kippur
You have to go home (as in the home that you--or your parents--grew up in), but other than that there's nothing much that needs to be done except sit around and chow down on the mountains of food that have been prepared. After a few years you figure out which members of the extended family you get along with, and after you've said your polite hellos to everyone, you hang out and eat.
Approximately five minutes after sundown tomorrow, every restaurant in this community and the one next door will be packed to the rafters with wild-eyed Jewish folks who haven't eaten in 24 hours, and you best not be between them and the food. And don't even try to order Chinese takeout. Someone will stuff a yarmulke down your throat and run off with the entire order.
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Thread Starter- APIAD
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Re: Yom Kippur
When Catholics fast we fry fish, drink beer and skip dessert. I think that is what Jesus did.
Forgive my ignorance, but isn't the Lenten abstinence voluntary? I always hear about people giving up vices like fried foods, chocolate and cotton candy for Lent. Someone who assumed I'm Catholic once asked me what I gave up for Lent. My answer was "organized religion." And I've maintained that for awhile now. So I must have built up some points with the lord by now, right?
I dont know really. I was always told I had to do it but I am not very good at following through. No meat on friday is hard enough.
- artie_fufkin
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Re: Yom Kippur
We're starting to get into the dangerous time of the fast. I just got yelled at for watching a football game with too much enthusiasm.
Sundown can't get here quickly enough.
Oh, and we're planning on going out for dinner. That ought to be interesting.
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Thread Starter- KC_Card_Guy
- Roger Cedeno
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Re: Yom Kippur
MIL: "Yes. It's Rosh Hashana. That's the Jewish new year."
Me: "I know. I've been married to a Jew for the last 16 years."
My MIL hasn't spoken to me since. Had I known those magic words then ...
WHERE'S THE GODD*MNED REC BUTTON?!?!
ROTFLMAO!!
- Max
- Colby Rasmus
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Re: Yom Kippur
Approximately five minutes after sundown tomorrow
If you're in a predominately Islamic area, they gather at the restaurant about 30-45 minutes before sundown, so that they can order and have the food served. And then they sit there looking like a dog with biscuit on its nose while they wait for the announcement that they can start eating.