Oh, and I looked up Passan's bio.
He's from ... wait for it ... Ohio.

I've read Passan for a long time now, back when Yahoo was just a website. Sometimes it's clear he's a fan, because he comes off like an egotistical jackass. Other times he writes pretty fair commentary on situations around baseball, and you can tell he's just throwing the thoughts on paper from a fair journalistic perspective. Overall he's one of the more intuitive writers and I enjoy hearing what he has to say. Sometimes though, not so much. I will put my haiku skills to the test, and retort appropriately.

Jeff Passan can write
Unless it's on St. Louis
Then he is an ass.

The other douchebag from Kansas Shitty checks in:

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/jason-whitlock-apologizes-unfunny-jeremy-lin-twitter-145934497.html

Whaddaya wanna bet these two guys aren't seated next to each other the next time there's a sportswriters' dinner?

"ST. LOUIS • Although one of the leading advocates of their presence and scouting effort in Latin America has left the Cardinals, the club continues to invest in potential talent from the Dominican and have deals in place with two more teenage pitchers.

The Cardinals have agreements with righthander Andres Serrano and lefty Erick Hurtado. The team is awaiting the results of an investigation that validates the players' ages and their paperwork before making the signings official. Ben Badler of Baseball Americawas the first to report the signings, doing so over the weekend in two articles (Serrano here; Hurtado there).

Badler reports that Serrano has a deal that includes a $750,000 bonus. That would make it one of the top-five offered by the Cardinals in the past few years, though not all of those deals were completed.

Carlos Martinez, one of the Cardinals' top pitching prospects, agreed to a deal with a $1.1 million bonus. When the Cardinals first signed him his name was Carlos Matias, but during the investigation process they had to confirm his birthdate and part of that process meant connecting him to paperwork that identified him as Martinez, his mother's last name.

Both of the recently signed Dominican pitchers are 17.

Badler writes about Serrano:


Serrano, 17, has a long-armed, projectable 6-foot-3, 190-pound frame and a fastball that scouts have said they've seen range anywhere from 90-95 mph. Serrano is a good athlete who also throws a curveball and a changeup, with the curveball the most advanced of his secondary offerings.

And, concering Hurtado, Badler writes:


Hurtado, who is from Santo Domingo, is 6-foot-3, 200 pounds and threw around 86-88 mph as July 2 approached last year, but more recently he's pitched in the high-80s and touched 90-91 mph. He's still raw as a pitcher but he shows some feel to spin a curveball.

The deal with Serrano was apparently agreed upon in October and has been going through the investigation process. Badler makes the point that if the deal is finalized, the bonus would be the largest paid to a Dominican pitcher in 2011."