We received this press release from the Greater Boston Convention & Visitors Bureau today:

BOSTON - In anticipation of the arrival of thousands of Ohioans for the NCAA Div. 1 basketball tournament this week, the GBCVB has issued the following advisory:
• Greater Boston residents are urged to not allow into their homes anyone driving a vehicle with Ohio license plates who stops and asks "to use the outhouse."
• Residents are advised to secure any and all livestock or portly children who could be confused with livestock in an indoor area, as to not create an "attractive nuisance," particularly for visitors from Cincinnati.
• Official GBCVB greeters will be stationed at the Stockbridge exit of the Massachusetts Turnpike, handing out fliers to anyone in a vehicle with Ohio tags on the proper use of eating utensils, soap, and toilet paper, and advising that hunting of the Swan Boats in the Public Garden is not allowed.
• Anyone wearing a Buckeye necklace will be arrested and immediately deported back to Ohio.
• The U.S.S. Constitution will be temporarily moved from its mooring in Charlestown to the Quincy shipyard, so visiting Ohioans "lookin' for one of them thar booze cruises" do not board.
• All sidewalks within 100 feet of an entrance to a bar or tavern within Boston city limits will be lined with several layers of plastic, in order to facilitate the cleanup of alcohol-induced vomitus.
• Extra police patrols will be deployed, with orders to arrest any Ohio residents engaged in public displays of beastiality. This includes but is not limited to an Ohio man having sex with an Ohio woman.
• Anyone accentuating the word "the" before uttering "Ohio State University" will be shot and dumped into the Mystic River.

Last edited by artie_fufkin (3/21/2012 1:48 pm)