......hang in there

Yeah, it's wierd, I thought I'd be crushed by this, I was on my first marriage. After about 3 days though, I began to wonder why on earth I cared so much, and came to realize I wasn't losing much of anything that didn't need to get out of my life to begin with.

I'm really okay, which scares me. Found I'm a lot happier, and a lot more tolerant of about everything. Ever see someone laugh their way through a divorce before?

Max wrote:

Sorry to hear about it, Alz.  My first marriage ended after about 8 years.  We had no kids and little stuff, but I just told her to take whatever she wanted and to let me know what I got. It saved a lot of hassle.  No, 21 years later, I can't imagine what material goods I might have gotten out of that divorce that would have been worth trading the reasonably amicable separation we have now.

Good to see you back, Max.

Thanks.  I'm not really sure how 'back' I am though.

For starters, my project from last year is totally fucked up.  I am basically a whistleblower who is unprotected by any whistleblower law against retaliation (American working for British company in Indonesia . . . ).  So, the owner of the company I was consulting for decided not to pay me 38% of my yearly wage, to blame me for his legal and ethical shortcomings, and to subtly threaten me if any of this causes the project financial loss.  He claims the program will air on UK TV this Fall, which will cause a big problem because I guarantee it is deeply flawed.  His bizarre behavior led me to "snakes in suits" and the whole literature on corporate psychopaths, and I am as convinced as a dispassionate and skeptical scientist can be that he is one, and that he scores a perfect 16 out of 16 on the Hare test for nonviolent psychopathy.  This has had me in a very bad mood since things started going weird at the end of March 2011, but as it is deeply connected with the animal, field site, and network in which I have built expertise since 1993, it is not a simple matter from which to walk away.  Basically, nearly twenty years of work and my whole career have been fucked over by this psycho, and I am the sort who absolutely will proceed with the process of proper reporting.  So the unstoppable force is going to meet the immovable object; but he has all the money, lawyers, and connections such that the mass of the unstoppable force is several orders of magnitude greater than that of the immovable object, and I am likely to get crushed.  The bottom line is that I'm not a lot of fun to be around right now and will probably be bankrupt, literally, and starting a new career from scratch within 6-12 months. 

Secondly, I was a huge fan of La Russa / Jocketty Cardinals baseball.  I was pretty skeptical of Mozeliak during the La Russa / Mozeliak era, and after the debacle of last off-season, I am wholly convinced that I have a deep dislike of this new DeWitt/Mozeliak era.  I don't like how they do business and I think they are devaluing the Cardinal brand name, which has been carefully built over the past century.  It's not that I think all of their decisions have been bad.  For example, the business decision not to resign Pujols was probably wise, but the way they went about it over several years was just awful for me to behold, like Chinese water torture.  And indeed, I am gratified to see the Lohse signing is looking pretty fabulous at this point, and I take a little bit of pleasure in thinking of all the crow waiting to be eaten by Lohse's (and Mozeliak's) critics for that signing.  It's the way they do business that I have a deep dislike for.  So, I would be a distraction on this board.

But I did see Alz's post and wanted to wish him well.  I thank this board for helping me get over the guilt when my dog got hit by a car, more than six years ago now.  So, the camaraderie can be helpful.

Last edited by Max (9/04/2012 7:46 pm)

APIAD wrote:

Pretend I am really really stupid, like mentally retarded stupid and tell me what you do for a living.

I could also use help understanding that, and you don't even need to pretend where I'm concerned.

Let me sweeten the pot by saying "Although I did criticize him once or twice, Kyle Lohse is a god".

Well I've been fairly quiet too. I signed the papers yesterday, and that's very sad, and I should get hugs from everyone..... But wait!!! It turns out my marriage ending grief lasted about a week, and I now think of it as Stockholme syndrome. It really was an awful last year. I will be final next week, the entire process taking 5 weeks. We've settled all of the assets, and she's moved out. I traded out a car that was in our names for a Jeep Liberty 4x4 SUV that I love. I put a towing package on it, and will be buying a john boat and trailer with next tax return. I realized I really love fishing, and it's been a great time killer.

I've went out and met a few gals, so far nothing more than friends, but that has been at my choosing. 4 dates, and 4 women who were really really hoping they would be more. Turns out I'm pretty picky and have no desire to rebound. Meeting another 2 ladies this weekend, and both have promise, very interesting ladies to talk with. Do not mourn for me, I'm actually doing quite well.

Max, It's awesome having you back here. Stay around, regardless of how heated things get here, we're all friends.

I am being careful, even good. Haven't even held hands with anyone, much less anything beyond. Sadly my standard for dating and sleeping with someone are not much different... I wish this was not the case sometimes, but it is what it is. I'm not sleeping with anyone I'm not attracted to, and not ever hammered enough when around a girl to lower that sleeping standard.