This is what I expect to hear on tonight's 10:00 news.

In our lead story, Air Force fighter jets were scrambled when Lambert Airport control towers detected multiple unidentified airborne objects.  Initial reports suspected Chinese or North Korean unmanned drones, but when Air Force pilots intercepted the objects, well, let’s just say they received quite a surprise.
 
“Pigs! They were flying pigs I tell you!” claimed a pilot identified only by his call sign of Maverick.  “It was the darndest thing.  But since they had invaded US airspace, we had no choice but to shoot them down.  I guess the boys back at Scott Air Force Base will be eating a lot of pork products this week.”
 
Back in the studio, lets turn to Belinda Bigboobs with the forecast for this weekend. 
 
“The record cold temperatures are expected to continue through the weekend and for an indefinite period.  Meteorologists and geologists have pinpointed this extended cold front to a sudden and spontaneous freezing at the center of the earth.  Scientists have been unable to explain how the earth’s core, typically the hottest part of the planet to the extreme pressures, has suddenly frozen over.”
 
Turning to sports, well after more than a century, the unthinkable has happened—the Chicago Cubs have won the World Series.  Comeback Player of the Year, Mark Prior, pitched 8 brilliant innings and closer Carlos Marmol continued his amazing season, a season in which he didn’t walk a single batter, with his record 96th save.  Alfonso Soriano continued his MVP season, leading the Cub offense with a World Series record 4 home runs and 14 RBI.
 
And in late-breaking news, the Cardinals announced that they will break ground on Ballpark Village a week from Friday.

http://www.stltoday.com/business/local/cardinals-to-break-ground-on-ballpark-village-next-week/article_0ee1b024-b4d3-54ee-8e5d-524ef3035917.html
 

Last edited by forsberg_us (1/31/2013 12:06 pm)