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Alright boys you'll have to handle these next 3 without me. I'm headed to Franklin, Tennessee (just south of Nashville) for Madison's softball tournament. At least 7 games crammed into 2 days against a bunch of teams from the south who will likely kick the ever-loving crap out of our team.
My plan is simple--I plan to drink heavily. I mean, how else am I supposed to survive a bunch of over-zealous softball parents who will be rooting for 11-12 year old girls to drop pop-ups? I even brought a bottle of Fireball whiskey because what can be more fun that shooting whiskey with 2 of the ugliest butch lesbians who ever lived? They ought to make a fucking Lifetime movie out of this. Jim Belishi can play me. Kathy Bates and Justin Bieber can play the lesbians.
I'll try to fill you in from time-to-time as to how it's going. If nothing else, it will remind you that your weekend isn't quite as bad as it might feel at the moment. Assuming I'm sober enough to type on an iPhone.
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It always takes me a year to forget how annoying Rex Hudler is.
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So Lynn is either hurt or not loose.
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"Kathy Bates and Justin Bieber can play the lesbians."
There's a movie called "At Play in the Fields of the Lord" where Kathy Bates does full frontal nudity. I couldn't keep solid food down for a week after I saw it.
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Why do I have a feeling we're going to be seeing Charlie Newhouse in this game?
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That's some pus Lynn is throwing
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I think Reynolds would destroy Young.
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Hudler just used the term "booty" to refer to Salvatore Perez's rear end.
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tkihshbt wrote:
I think Reynolds would destroy Young.
I have no idea why he's not in the lineup tonight.
Young is the least athletic baseball player I've ever seen. His hips are so wide he looks like he's wearing saddlebags.
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I know this is a Fussy Newspaper Guy thing, but if Hudler utters one more split infinitive, I'm going to put my fist through something.
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artie_fufkin wrote:
tkihshbt wrote:
I think Reynolds would destroy Young.
I have no idea why he's not in the lineup tonight.
Young is the least athletic baseball player I've ever seen. His hips are so wide he looks like he's wearing saddlebags.
Matheny has done a good job picking his spots with Bourchuk, but Adams hits a home run and suddenly starts daily again.
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Is it a coincidence that Lynn threw 118 highly stressful pitches five days ago and is topping out at 91?
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artie_fufkin wrote:
"Kathy Bates and Justin Bieber can play the lesbians."
There's a movie called "At Play in the Fields of the Lord" where Kathy Bates does full frontal nudity. I couldn't keep solid food down for a week after I saw it.
I only know about this movie because of Family Guy.
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That went limp pretty quick
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Your Gov. Nixon was in the Royals' booth last inning. He sounds like he's not full of shit.
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artie_fufkin wrote:
Your Gov. Nixon was in the Royals' booth last inning. He sounds like he's not full of shit.
Was he being non-partisan? The dude grew up in De Soto, which is about 30 miles southwest of St. Louis. He can tell everyone he roots for the Cardinals now.
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tkihshbt wrote:
artie_fufkin wrote:
"Kathy Bates and Justin Bieber can play the lesbians."
There's a movie called "At Play in the Fields of the Lord" where Kathy Bates does full frontal nudity. I couldn't keep solid food down for a week after I saw it.I only know about this movie because of Family Guy.
It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's one of those movies that's intended to be serious, but ends up being unintentionally funny. And it's like seven hours long. I don't think Tom Berenger's career ever recovered.
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Another flat 91 mph fastball gets rocked.
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tkihshbt wrote:
artie_fufkin wrote:
Your Gov. Nixon was in the Royals' booth last inning. He sounds like he's not full of shit.
Was he being non-partisan? The dude grew up in De Soto, which is about 30 miles southwest of St. Louis. He can tell everyone he roots for the Cardinals now.
So Missouri has term limits? We ought to try that.
He wasn't dumb enough to out himself as a Cardinals fan on the Royals' broadcast, but you could tell right away he has a working knowledge of both teams. He knew Yadi had dropped weight in the off-season.
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All these popouts ...
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artie_fufkin wrote:
tkihshbt wrote:
artie_fufkin wrote:
"Kathy Bates and Justin Bieber can play the lesbians."
There's a movie called "At Play in the Fields of the Lord" where Kathy Bates does full frontal nudity. I couldn't keep solid food down for a week after I saw it.I only know about this movie because of Family Guy.
It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's one of those movies that's intended to be serious, but ends up being unintentionally funny. And it's like seven hours long. I don't think Tom Berenger's career ever recovered.
And I'm not a big Hector Babenco fan anyway. Kiss of the Spider Woman was the closest thing I want to ever see (split infinitive as a tribute to Rex Hudler) to gay porn. The critics drooled over Ironweed because of the cast, but the only movie I've seen since that's more depressing is Schindler's List.
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Maybe not throw Morales a strike here.
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20 innings without a run now?
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Hudler: "The Royals have added a complementary of non-roster invitees to complement a strong roster already."
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People are sticking around because there's a fireworks show after the game.