- artie_fufkin
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- From: God's Little Acre
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Re: 4/26 GC
"If we're talking about fingerplay, my friend hooked up with a woman in a bar one night who proceeded to shove one of her digits into his butt. He had no clue what was going on and she yelled at him to "embrace it."
Can't say anyone in your buddy's place wouldn't have been surprised. That's not your typical icebreaker.
- artie_fufkin
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Re: 4/26 GC
"Now I'm a fairly adventurous guy, but I'm not about to have sex with a stripper in the strip club and without a condom"
You prude ...
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Thread Starter- forsberg_us
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Re: 4/26 GC
artie_fufkin wrote:
"Now I'm a fairly adventurous guy, but I'm not about to have sex with a stripper in the strip club and without a condom"
You prude ...
We all have limits
- forsberg_us
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Re: 4/26 GC
Speaking of limits, your story about Roger reminded me of another story. When I was working at the police department, I also worked a second job for a friend of mine who had a private investigation company. Most of the work was serving papers, but we also did the occasional surveillance on people making workers compensation or other personal injury claims. In that capacity, our claim to fame was the company was hired by the insurer for Riverport Ampitheater to handle matters related to the riot caused by Axl Rose. Between locating witnesses, serving subpoenas and doing surveillance of the primary plaintiff, we made a boat load of money. So what do you do when you unexpectedly come into a load of cash? Head to Vegas.
With me on the trip was the guy who owned the PI company, Pat and another cop, Tom. I was dating a girl at the time, and Pat was married, but Tom was one of those guys who never dated and seemed to never get laid (or even talk to a girl), so we decide that we'll take a trip into the desert to find a brothel (prostitution is legal everywhere in Nevada except Clark County, which includes Las Vegas) so Tom can score. If you've ever seen the HBO show Cathouse, that's exactly how it worked. We walk in, a bell rings and every available working girl comes into the front room and lines up for the selection process. There had to be 15-20 women, and I kid you not, they were 15-20 of the ugliest women you've ever seen. Even Tom is having 2nd thoughts, but we convince him that we're all in it together and we'll give him first pick. He picked his woman and headed into one of the back rooms. Pat and I watched him walk into the back, took one look at the rest of the line and turned and walked into the bar to wait for Tom.
- APIAD
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Re: 4/26 GC
Jesus, you guys....nice stories but im staying out of the story telling..lol
- artie_fufkin
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Re: 4/26 GC
File under: Never leave a buddy behind ...
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Thread Starter- artie_fufkin
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Re: 4/26 GC
I have Vegas story that doesn't involve prostitution. Or even women for that.matter. But I have to go out and get pizza now.
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Thread Starter- tkihshbt
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Re: 4/26 GC
You guys have some great stories. I'm bummed we won't be able to hear anything about AP and the Suicide Girls he must've hooked up with.
Can't say anyone in your buddy's place wouldn't have been surprised. That's not your typical icebreaker.
Typically, a girl sticking her finger up a guy's ass is supposed to come right before he is, but she dove right in mid-coitus. To me, that wasn't even the best part of the story. I enjoyed the part where he made her drive him into town the next morning, buy him cigarettes and a water, then drop him off at his vehicle. Oh, and another time he banged her, he forgot to throw away the rubber and his mom saw it on his bedroom floor.
- artie_fufkin
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Re: 4/26 GC
So, I made my first trip to Vegas in 2013. Essentially the same group of guys as the Buffalo trip. Most of the crew went out Friday morning, but I had to work Friday so I didn't leave Boston until early evening. Took a cab from the airport to our hotel on the strip, where I met the rest of the group.
I hadn't been there a half-hour when my buddy Jeff asked if anyone wanted to get something to eat. I wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to stay in the hotel room. The pizza place Jeff wanted to go to was closed, so he ended up ordering take-out at Johnny Rockets. We sit next to this guy who looked like - and this may not resonate with the younger guys - the Grand Wizard of Wrestling. Except he wasn't wearing a turban, he was wearing a blue bandanna over his head. But the rest of his attire was hilarious - wrap-around sunglasses, a sliver lame jacket over a floral embroidered shirt and bright red pants. With sandals, of course.
He starts chatting me up, and it's pretty clear right away this guy is full of shit. He asks where we're staying. The Cosmopolitan. He says he lives in the penthouse at the Cosmopolitan. He asks where we're from. Boston. He says he used to own a condo on Beacon Hill. Beacon Hill is the swankiest neighborhood in Boston. John Freakin' Kerry lives there, and he's probably not even the richest guy on his block.
Anyway, Jeff's order doesn't come up after about 15 minutes, so he goes back to the woman at the cash register to check on his hamburger. As soon as he's out of earshot, the Wizard says: "Fucking Jews."
Excuse me?
I ask the Wizard first of all why he assumes Jeff is Jewish (he is) and the Wizard replies: "Because they're never happy about anything."
Then, of course, he follows up with "Do we have a problem here?"
Me: "We won't as long as you keep your anti-Semitic comments to yourself."
Then the Wiz says, "If I hadn't just finished eating, I'd ask you to step outside."
Me: "I guess I'm lucky I caught you after dinner, then."
The Wiz marches out. Keep in mind he's about 5-foot-2, 125 pounds. I've stepped on bigger bugs without knowing it.
Jeff comes back a minute later. One of the employees, who overheard the whole exchange between me and the Wiz, says to Jeff: "You buddy just stood up to a Nazi. If that asshole lives in a penthouse at the Cosmo, I'm Howard Fucking Hughes."
Last edited by artie_fufkin (4/29/2016 10:16 am)
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